{"product_id":"infantry-a-lifestyle-choice-that-ruins-knees-permanently","title":"Infantry - A lifestyle choice that ruins knees permanently","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMeet the unofficial uniform of anyone who’s ever rucked farther than their cartilage was designed for. This \u003cstrong\u003eInfantry definition shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers premium sarcasm, tactical accuracy, and the kind of humor only people with \u003cem\u003epermanently crunchy knees\u003c\/em\u003e truly understand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for veterans, active‑duty masochists, gym bros who think leg day counts as “service,” and anyone who wants to broadcast that their joints have filed for early retirement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoft. Durable. Morally supportive. Unlike your knees.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUltra‑soft cotton comfort\u003c\/strong\u003e that won’t feel like a forced march\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrisp, high‑contrast print\u003c\/strong\u003e that survives wash cycles better than your ACL survived boot camp\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e for infantry, infantry‑adjacent, and infantry‑curious humans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect gag gift\u003c\/strong\u003e for veterans, military families, and anyone who’s ever said “my knees ain’t what they used to be”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLightweight but durable\u003c\/strong\u003e — unlike your cartilage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"865\" data-start=\"857\"\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Unisex, classic fit\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"903\" data-start=\"890\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% cotton (fiber content may vary by size\/color)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"977\" data-start=\"959\"\u003eFabric Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mediumweight, durable everyday tee\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1026\" data-start=\"1017\"\u003eNeck:\u003c\/strong\u003e Crew neck\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1050\" data-start=\"1041\"\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold, turned inside-out, tumble dry low.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"distractwear","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51635748045102,"sku":null,"price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":51635748077870,"sku":null,"price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":51635748110638,"sku":null,"price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":51635748143406,"sku":null,"price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":51635748176174,"sku":null,"price":17.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":51635748208942,"sku":null,"price":17.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0967\/2376\/3502\/files\/Infantry_noun_Alifestylechoicethatruinskneespermanently-001-01-onshirt-01.png?v=1768513907","url":"https:\/\/distractwear.com\/products\/infantry-a-lifestyle-choice-that-ruins-knees-permanently","provider":"distractwear","version":"1.0","type":"link"}